Covenant Faithfulnes

My son got married a few weeks ago and again I was reminded of the covenantal faithfulness of God. They chose for their Bible passage Psalm 128 and it was a beautiful reminder of the blessed state of those who fear the Lord.

Blessed are all who fear the Lord,

who walk in his ways.

You will eat the fruit of your labor;

blessings and prosperity will be yours.

Your wife will be like a fruitful vine

within your house;

your sons will be like olive shoots

around your table.

Thus is the man blessed

who fears the Lord.

May the Lord bless you from Zion

all the days of your life;

may you see the prosperity of

Jerusalem,

and may you live to see your

children's children.

Peace be upon Israel.

The day was beautiful and I thank you for your well wishes and prayers. Six months ago for Christmas my daughter wrote a poem for me called A Mother's Prayer for Her Son. It is truly the prayer I would pray for my sons and the future husbands (Lord willing) of my daughters.

A Mother's Prayer for Her Son

Lord, I pray my son a house would build

Where every room is by Your glory filled.

May Your word his only foundation be,

And make the faith within an easy thing to see.

O God, when storms against his home do rail,

I pray that You'd his faith prevail.

Lord, I pray my son from evil his heart and home he would defend

And never from Your path, O Lord, allow his steps to bend.

Keep his heart focused relentlessly on You

So that at temptation's coming he can battle through.

May he never once his responsibilities hide,

And always for his family's needs provide.

Lord, I pray my son his family will lead,

And train his children to serve You in thought, in word, and deed.

Give him the wisdom to be the head You desire,

And in the study of Your Word may his heart never tire.

O precious Lord, hold him close to You,

And to Your will may he always be true.

Lord, I thank You my son has been able to see

A model of the man You have called him to be

By the godly example of the man You've given me

His father, by Your grace, has shown him the way,

And in that path, O Lord, I pray my son will stay.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen

Warning: Culture Toxic to Boys

I recently heard a statistic that I found very alarming: 70% of young men are not grown up by 30 years of age (up from 30% in 1970) as stated in Newsweek magazine. That is frightening to me as a mother of 3 sons and 2 daughters and a confirmation of the reason why I started Keepsake Curriculum.

Every generation has its issues and I am not one to glorify "the past", but what is true for every generation is the call to get back to the Word of God as our guide for life. It is when we fall away from God's Word that we see statistics like the one above.

I am deeply disturbed that even in Christianity today we are not training our sons and daughters Biblically. It appears more and more clearly that we are using the culture as our standard. We tell our daughters to first and foremost pursue a career when the Bible says,

"You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine.....Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the Word of God" (Titus 2:1a, 3-5). Instead of using that as our guide, we encourage our daughters to seek after a career in anything and everything, including jobs that formerly were held by men...police work, lawyers, military, etc. The Bible says that the beauty of a woman is the "beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit" (1 Peter 3:4). Pretty hard to show that as a policewoman, lawyer, or soldier.

What this departure from the Word of God has done to boys and manhood has been devastating. A recent study shows that women now receive 58% of the bachelor's degrees given by colleges and universities. The Pew Research Center reports that 28% of wives between the ages of 30 and 44 have more education than their husbands and that women have become a majority in law, medical, and doctoral programs. This has led to an alarming number of "stay-at-home dads" which not only is a deviation from history but is a direct violation of God's plan for the family.

In an article by Kevin Swanson from Generations With Vision he writes that he interviewed Dr. Christine Hoff Somers, the author of a new book called The War Against Boys, who stated that "the modern school is dangerous for boys. It is producing boys that are feminized, awkward, rebellious, or otherwise ill-prepared for life. Only 43% of students attending college today are boys, and that number continues to drop. Schools are increasingly designed for girls. Meanwhile boys are disenfranchised and disinterested. Removing a boy's unique purpose and preparation in life, setting him in a girl's world, and then putting him in competition with girls will only produce devastating consequences for our social and economic systems." Not to mention the fact that it dishonors the God who created them "male and female". (Full Article)

All this has led to a culture of immaturity among young men. Video games, entertainment, and an overemphasis on sports has made Gary Cross, a Penn State University historian wonder "Where have all the men gone?" In his book Men to Boys: The Making of Modern Immaturity Cross concludes, "Modern toys have gradually lost their 'expiration dates', the markers that designate the time that children are expected to abandon them after reaching a new developmental stage....their manufacturers design them to blur, even deny this historically essential transition from boyhood to manhood....To be blunt, adult men obsessed with video games are in a state of arrested development because they can't see the difference between a toy and an adult pleasure" (p 223-224). That is quite different from Paul's admonition to the Corinthians, "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me" (I Corinthians 13:11).

The Bible clearly portrays distinct and God-given differences between girls and boys, men and women. As usual, sinful man perverts those distinctions and leads us to discontentment and the crisises we experience today. The present culture is not only toxic to boys but to girls as well. As parents let's not be intimidated by the culture but let's be diligent to use the Word of God as our guide and thereby make a difference in the world around us.

For additional resources and guides see Keepsake Curriculum.

Cell phones, Texting and Manners or Raising Godly Children in a Techie World: Part 3

"Don't talk with food in your mouth!", "Don't interrupt when someone else is speaking!", "Son, give your seat to a lady or an elderly person!" We've all heard our mothers instruct us in the art of common and everyday manners. It's part of living in an orderly and polite society. It's called decency.

But what in the world is happening! A loud ring tone interrupts a Sunday worship service, people walk out of a lecture, class, or sermon because "they just have to take this call", and pleasant dinner conversations are halted by a call or a text.

Modern technological marvels and instant communication have made our lives so much more convenient. Mothers feel a much deeper sense of security because their children are "just a phone call away". But where have all the manners gone? Private conversations used to be...well...private. I am amazed at how freely we speak to others about important and private things while a whole host of people are listening...in the grocery store, in the restaurant, and in the doctor's office. I am saddened at how many family dinners are spoiled by half the family texting, half the family on their cell phones, and the rest staring into space as they wait for these conversations to end. I am tired of being unintentionally and unavoidably a part of "overhearing" conversations I do not want to be a part of.

Mothers and fathers used to take the time to teach their little ones manners both in society and in the home but when it comes to cell phones and texting, I repeat, where have all the manners gone. Parents, please, before you give your children a phone of their own, make sure they know the proper manners necessary for polite conversation at the proper time and in the proper way. (And it wouldn't hurt for us to set the right example as well.)

Turn the cell phone off at the dinner table or at the restaurant surrounded by friends. It is a time for the conversation to be focused on those who are present. Emergency calls can happen, but are so much more infrequent then the constant communication I have witnessed when dining with friends. Call it what it is....rude! Not only are you halting the conversation, but you are thoughtlessly interrupting the person you are with and making them wait while you focus your attention on someone else. Instead, teach your children to look others in the eyes, to focus their attention on the one they are conversing with, and to truly participate in what they are saying.

Cell phones are an amazing gift from God. In using them let us not forget that people and manners matter. Manners help us to show others that we care about them and they let our children know that there is a polite and thoughtful way to communicate with people. Even if "everybody else" does it, let's be different...let's be thoughtful, considerate, and polite.

Loving Your Children

Sometimes we forget just how much of a blessing children are. Homeschooling, laundry, meal preparation....getting caught up in the busyness of the day, we have a tendency to depreciate our children and easily become annoyed or bothered. I was having such a day when I received the Kingdom Notes from Highlands Ministries, the ministry of Dr. R. C. Sproul, Jr. I was touched and thankful when I read it and am sharing it below.

Children, according to the Word of God, are a blessing from the hand of God (Psalm 127). That includes all children, no matter the circumstances. One of our children, who is a profound blessing also has profoundly special needs. Two of our children have come to us from troubled circumstances. In both instances there are unusual challenges. In both, however, there are unusual blessings. Shannon, my twelve year old whose abilities more closely match those of a one year old, blesses most potently in and through her disposition. Her nickname, Princess Happy is apt. Her happiness in turn is contagious. She smiles at me, and I am at peace. She laughs, and I forget my troubles.

Reilly and Donovan, who are four years and three months old respectively, bless in unusual ways as well. Reilly has an energy that is often a challenge, but is in turn a blessing. He is enthusiastic about whatever he is about. Last night, as we watched elder brother Campbell’s baseball game in near freezing temperatures, Reilly danced to music only he heard. Donovan only dances by accident- while I am dancing and holding him at the same time. He does, however, snuggle with passion. He wiggles on my shoulder, seeking to burrow his way into my neck.

In the end, however, the blessings from these children, who clearly and immediately strike strangers as “different” are very much like the blessings we receive from all of our children. Children are a blessing from the hand of God in the end less because of the lessons we learn, certainly not because of the love they bestow on us. They are blessings instead because they are the objects of our love. We are blessed because we get to love them. My daughter Darby, our first born, gave me, as her mom did before her, the Grinch experience. The day she was born my heart grew three sizes. My first born son, Campbell, proved the phenomenon did not diminish with each new child.

Delaney, God bless her, still calls me daddy, and still my heart expands. Erin Claire’s guilelessness not only evokes my love for her, but exhibits for me the child-like faith we are called to. And Maili is proof that even as I age, my heart can still grow. These are the olive plants about my table. They are God’s gift to me and my dear wife, our gift to their grandparents, uncles, aunts. They are objects of our love, drawing from us what best reflects the very image of God.

The moral then is not so obtuse. You need not break out your lexicons or your systematics texts to know what to do here. Love your children. Love them deeply. Love them faithfully. Love them without restraint or shame or fear. It will serve you well. It will serve them well. It will serve well your grandchildren. Best of all, it will make manifest the glory of the reign of Jesus Christ over all things.

This was and is a good reminder to give our God the thanks He alone deserves. Be encouraged and reminded to thank Him today for the blessings of your children.

Cell phones, Texting and Patience or Raising Biblical Children in a Techie World

Ah, the wonder of technology! My mother-in-law had to wait several weeks to hear from her fiancee' overseas during WWII. I had to wait several days to hear from acquaintances in other states, and my children have to wait several...well...seconds to hear from a friend anywhere. Amazing! The ability to text a message quickly and receive an answer immediately is nothing short of astonishing and I thank God for this incredible gift. Nevertheless, in this second part of a series on cell phones and texting (face-booking) I would like to step back, slow down and reflect on the idea of patience. I am in no way suggesting that going back to snail mail is my heart's desire. This capability to reach anyone anywhere quickly is wonderful; however, let's understand that with the good sometimes also comes the bad.

On the material level, upgrades to cell phones, texting, Internet accessibility, and photo capabilities happen, it seems, almost daily. Getting the newest and the best is rampant among consumers today. What used to take years to get "old" now takes weeks. It's hard to keep up! It isn't easy to teach our children the concept of contentment in this fast paced world in which we live. The spiritual command to be content has always been a difficult battle to fight, and today, ironically, the same technology that affords us so much convenience is a huge

catalyst in making us very discontented. And impatience is a large part of discontentment.

We have become a very impatient people. I can see it in myself when I travel to an area that runs a bit slower than I am used to. I get agitated, angry, and irritated so quickly. I want my desires fulfilled immediately. I believe this is due in part to the "instant" society in which we live. All these things that make our lives easier haven't really seemed to make us more content. In fact, there are probably more discontented people now than ever.

The ability to quickly communicate with people also has its downside. I can remember as a young adult writing a letter to a friend in the morning and by nighttime coming to the conclusion that it was best not to send it...or at least to change some of the things I wanted to say. When I had time to think about it, most of what I had written, in anger or in gossip, I had decided was best left unsaid. We often send messages without giving the proper amount of thought that is required. It is much easier to quickly call somebody about something that we should probably think through first.

Patience is a virtue my mother always said. Indeed it is an important part of our spiritual walk with the Lord. Raising beautiful Biblical daughters and Biblically discerning sons does not mean that we may not use the advantages of technology, but as usual it requires diligent training and maturity. Texting and cell phones can and are used for great good (Hey Mom, just wanted to say I love you and have a great day), wonderful conveniences (I'll be home in ten minutes) or sinful exchanges (Did you hear what she said....?) Let us work at being content with what we have even if it isn't the latest and the best, and let us think before we send a message to anyone that isn't God honoring.

Cell phones, Texting and Immaturity or Raising Biblically Discerning Children in a Teckie World

My kids think I hate technology. (Rather an interesting statement considering I have a web page and my own blog.) However, in all fairness to them, I am rather quick to point out the problems with technology, focusing on the negatives rather than the positives.

We were discussing the possibility of getting unlimited texting on our recent phone upgrade. Up until this time only one of my children really uses texting in a way that would necessitate an "unlimited" status. So, we discussed the cost, the need, and the problems associated with texting. As usual, our discussion turned into a rather intense discourse eventually leading to the statement I began with. "Mom, why do you hate technology?"

Technology, a gift from God, is a wonderful thing. Amongst the thousands of things I could list, I will say that I love my washing machine, dryer, microwave, oven, and vacuum cleaner. I love the television, radio, I-pod, computer, yes, and even my cell phone. Yet, amidst all the technological advances, we seem to have lost something as well. Raising Biblical sons and daughters takes a lot of work and discernment; however, it seems that with all of the advancements, happening at a dizzying pace, discernment has fallen by the wayside.

Since the benefits of technology are obvious to all, I need not spend time listing them: they are numerous. However, I would like to point out some of the disadvantages that seem to be disregarded and all but forgotten. In order to limit my discussion, I would like to address my concerns primarily to cell phones and texting (facebooking could also be included).

1. Cell phones, texting (facebooking) and immaturity. As parents, the convenience of our children having their own cell phones and the capabilities of texting is very advantageous, for us and for them. But should convenience override the fact that many immature and undiscerning children are carrying around phones and having conversations we know nothing about.

The family phone used to be in the kitchen and many times my mom would be privy to my conversations, which were comparably few to the phone calling and/or texting kids do today. As an immature child I needed correction and she would instruct me on my unkind language, gossip, and sharing of inappropriate confidences. She knew who I talked to and why. She was able to guide me in a way that taught me to watch my mouth for it is very important to God how we use our tongues. When I reached a level of maturity in which my parents were more confident, I was allowed more privileges. I had a good background in Biblical understanding and had memorized and applied verses such as Ephesians 4:29 "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen" or Proverbs 15:2 "The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly."

I have unintentionally (another point to discuss...you can't be anywhere with out hearing somebody talking on their cell phone) overheard many conversations by immature children (and adults) having conversations that make me blush. Many of these conversations are in Christian churches and youth groups. It is commonplace and natural in the way they talk revealing many years of unsupervised and undisciplined training in the area of conversation. It is a by-product of allowing immature children access to a medium that they are not ready to handle.

Therefore, my conclusion is this.....Cell phones, texting, and facebooking are great tools if your son or daughter has reached a level of Spiritual maturity to be discerning. It needs to be clearly evident in their walk with the Lord that they can handle this kind of responsibility and be an example to their peers. Unless that is true have them wait for this kind of privilege afforded by technology.

I will continue this discussion in a future blog. Until then, let us use technology in a way that is wise and discerning and glorifies God.

Keep A Quiet Heart

One of my favorite devotionals is a book by Elisabeth Elliot entitled Keep A Quiet Heart. Though I never met her personally, I would consider her one of my mentors for she is a woman of great wisdom and godliness. In the introduction to Keep a Quiet Heart she writes, "This book is a compilation of lead articles...Mostly they are about learning to know God. Nothing else, I believe, comes close to being as important in life as that. It's what we are here for. We are created to glorify Him as long as we live on this planet, and to enjoy Him for the rest of eternity. Our task is simply to trust and obey."

The wisdom found in her book which she has gleaned from THE BOOK has given me guidance, encouragement, and instruction. To be a busy wife, mother, teacher, etc... only works well if you function with a quiet heart. The mother in the home acts as a barometer. If she is stressed, crabby, agitated, argumentative, complaining, and a whole host of other unwholesome attitudes, the home will reflect that. Conversely, if she has a quiet heart, trusting in God, and resting on his promises the home will likewise reflect that. Thus, in order to raise godly sons and daughters and be a blessing to our husbands, we need to model a quiet heart.

Annie Keary, 1825-1879, once wrote, "I think I find most help in trying to look on all the interruptions and hindrances to work that one has planned out for oneself as discipline, trials sent by God to help one against getting selfish over one's work. Then one can feel that perhaps one's true work - one's work for God - consists in doing some trifling haphazard thing that has been thrown into one's day. It is not a waste of time, as one is tempted to think, it is the most important part of the work of the day - the part one can best offer to God. After such a hindrance, do not rush after the planned work; trust that the time to finish it will be given sometime, and keep a quiet heart about it (Keep A Quiet Heart, page 9).

Are we willing to accept all that God assigns for us during the day? Can we be happy and surrender ourselves to His agenda? It isn't easy, but the days go so much better when we let God be God and trust Him for the portion He gives us. When things don't go the way I want them to, or I begin to fear the future, I need to refocus my thoughts on Christ and trust that His way is the best. Then and only then can I learn to keep a quiet heart.