Monday, November 29, 2010


I almost daily have to ask my children what this term means or what that abbreviation stands for. It seems like with cyber space there is a new addition every day. You almost need a glossary to function in today's texting world or the world wide phenomenon known as facebook. In the last few months I have been hearing people saying things such as "Did they have the DTR yet?" and so once again I go to my kids and ask, "What in the world is a DTR?" Of course they look at me as if I belong in the stone age but they also feel obligated to bring me up to speed and so they tell me: DTR means that it is time to Define The Relationship. In my ancient day and age that usually meant someone was dating seriously and you could soon be expecting an engagement announcement. However, in today's fast moving society people are falling in and out of relationships so quickly it is almost necessary to have a secretary just to keep up on top of it all.

I think that things like facebook and texting have turned what should be taken slowly into something you can post on the internet for all to see. The minute a boy asks a girl out on a date or two, it's time to have the DTR. Then you can immediately update your status level (and this is very important in today's online public society) to the ever popular "In a Relationship" status. That brings everything to a new level and now instead of taking the time to get to know each other, either through courtship or monitored dating, we DTR'ed so now we have to function as an item which places undo pressure on the couple in a way that they are usually not ready or mature enough to handle.

If the truth be known, we are all in relationships...all the time. But it seems that young people feel a need to let everyone know that they are "In a Relationship" because it somehow makes them feel more important or good about themselves. This is sad and destructive. I have seen so many boys and girls get hurt because they had the DTR before either one of them was ready. Then they break up and look for someone else to fill that position so that their facebook page can say "In a Relationship".

If you have to post a status level then I think you should be in a LGDTR.....Letting God Define The Relationship. That means then that in every relationship God is the one steering it; therefore, you can be friends first and see where God is leading. No pressure, no public breathing down your neck, no facebook status to let everyone know if you are still an "Item" or not, no need to rush something that should take time to figure out.

I think I will let my kids know that I just coined a new acronym. Perhaps it will catch on. If it does, maybe they will ask me, "Mom, do you know what LGDTR means", and I will be happy to tell them. In fact, I hope I have been telling them what that means all along.

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