Loving Your Children

Sometimes we forget just how much of a blessing children are. Homeschooling, laundry, meal preparation....getting caught up in the busyness of the day, we have a tendency to depreciate our children and easily become annoyed or bothered. I was having such a day when I received the Kingdom Notes from Highlands Ministries, the ministry of Dr. R. C. Sproul, Jr. I was touched and thankful when I read it and am sharing it below.

Children, according to the Word of God, are a blessing from the hand of God (Psalm 127). That includes all children, no matter the circumstances. One of our children, who is a profound blessing also has profoundly special needs. Two of our children have come to us from troubled circumstances. In both instances there are unusual challenges. In both, however, there are unusual blessings. Shannon, my twelve year old whose abilities more closely match those of a one year old, blesses most potently in and through her disposition. Her nickname, Princess Happy is apt. Her happiness in turn is contagious. She smiles at me, and I am at peace. She laughs, and I forget my troubles.

Reilly and Donovan, who are four years and three months old respectively, bless in unusual ways as well. Reilly has an energy that is often a challenge, but is in turn a blessing. He is enthusiastic about whatever he is about. Last night, as we watched elder brother Campbell’s baseball game in near freezing temperatures, Reilly danced to music only he heard. Donovan only dances by accident- while I am dancing and holding him at the same time. He does, however, snuggle with passion. He wiggles on my shoulder, seeking to burrow his way into my neck.

In the end, however, the blessings from these children, who clearly and immediately strike strangers as “different” are very much like the blessings we receive from all of our children. Children are a blessing from the hand of God in the end less because of the lessons we learn, certainly not because of the love they bestow on us. They are blessings instead because they are the objects of our love. We are blessed because we get to love them. My daughter Darby, our first born, gave me, as her mom did before her, the Grinch experience. The day she was born my heart grew three sizes. My first born son, Campbell, proved the phenomenon did not diminish with each new child.

Delaney, God bless her, still calls me daddy, and still my heart expands. Erin Claire’s guilelessness not only evokes my love for her, but exhibits for me the child-like faith we are called to. And Maili is proof that even as I age, my heart can still grow. These are the olive plants about my table. They are God’s gift to me and my dear wife, our gift to their grandparents, uncles, aunts. They are objects of our love, drawing from us what best reflects the very image of God.

The moral then is not so obtuse. You need not break out your lexicons or your systematics texts to know what to do here. Love your children. Love them deeply. Love them faithfully. Love them without restraint or shame or fear. It will serve you well. It will serve them well. It will serve well your grandchildren. Best of all, it will make manifest the glory of the reign of Jesus Christ over all things.

This was and is a good reminder to give our God the thanks He alone deserves. Be encouraged and reminded to thank Him today for the blessings of your children.

Cell phones, Texting and Patience or Raising Biblical Children in a Techie World

Ah, the wonder of technology! My mother-in-law had to wait several weeks to hear from her fiancee' overseas during WWII. I had to wait several days to hear from acquaintances in other states, and my children have to wait several...well...seconds to hear from a friend anywhere. Amazing! The ability to text a message quickly and receive an answer immediately is nothing short of astonishing and I thank God for this incredible gift. Nevertheless, in this second part of a series on cell phones and texting (face-booking) I would like to step back, slow down and reflect on the idea of patience. I am in no way suggesting that going back to snail mail is my heart's desire. This capability to reach anyone anywhere quickly is wonderful; however, let's understand that with the good sometimes also comes the bad.

On the material level, upgrades to cell phones, texting, Internet accessibility, and photo capabilities happen, it seems, almost daily. Getting the newest and the best is rampant among consumers today. What used to take years to get "old" now takes weeks. It's hard to keep up! It isn't easy to teach our children the concept of contentment in this fast paced world in which we live. The spiritual command to be content has always been a difficult battle to fight, and today, ironically, the same technology that affords us so much convenience is a huge

catalyst in making us very discontented. And impatience is a large part of discontentment.

We have become a very impatient people. I can see it in myself when I travel to an area that runs a bit slower than I am used to. I get agitated, angry, and irritated so quickly. I want my desires fulfilled immediately. I believe this is due in part to the "instant" society in which we live. All these things that make our lives easier haven't really seemed to make us more content. In fact, there are probably more discontented people now than ever.

The ability to quickly communicate with people also has its downside. I can remember as a young adult writing a letter to a friend in the morning and by nighttime coming to the conclusion that it was best not to send it...or at least to change some of the things I wanted to say. When I had time to think about it, most of what I had written, in anger or in gossip, I had decided was best left unsaid. We often send messages without giving the proper amount of thought that is required. It is much easier to quickly call somebody about something that we should probably think through first.

Patience is a virtue my mother always said. Indeed it is an important part of our spiritual walk with the Lord. Raising beautiful Biblical daughters and Biblically discerning sons does not mean that we may not use the advantages of technology, but as usual it requires diligent training and maturity. Texting and cell phones can and are used for great good (Hey Mom, just wanted to say I love you and have a great day), wonderful conveniences (I'll be home in ten minutes) or sinful exchanges (Did you hear what she said....?) Let us work at being content with what we have even if it isn't the latest and the best, and let us think before we send a message to anyone that isn't God honoring.

Cell phones, Texting and Immaturity or Raising Biblically Discerning Children in a Teckie World

My kids think I hate technology. (Rather an interesting statement considering I have a web page and my own blog.) However, in all fairness to them, I am rather quick to point out the problems with technology, focusing on the negatives rather than the positives.

We were discussing the possibility of getting unlimited texting on our recent phone upgrade. Up until this time only one of my children really uses texting in a way that would necessitate an "unlimited" status. So, we discussed the cost, the need, and the problems associated with texting. As usual, our discussion turned into a rather intense discourse eventually leading to the statement I began with. "Mom, why do you hate technology?"

Technology, a gift from God, is a wonderful thing. Amongst the thousands of things I could list, I will say that I love my washing machine, dryer, microwave, oven, and vacuum cleaner. I love the television, radio, I-pod, computer, yes, and even my cell phone. Yet, amidst all the technological advances, we seem to have lost something as well. Raising Biblical sons and daughters takes a lot of work and discernment; however, it seems that with all of the advancements, happening at a dizzying pace, discernment has fallen by the wayside.

Since the benefits of technology are obvious to all, I need not spend time listing them: they are numerous. However, I would like to point out some of the disadvantages that seem to be disregarded and all but forgotten. In order to limit my discussion, I would like to address my concerns primarily to cell phones and texting (facebooking could also be included).

1. Cell phones, texting (facebooking) and immaturity. As parents, the convenience of our children having their own cell phones and the capabilities of texting is very advantageous, for us and for them. But should convenience override the fact that many immature and undiscerning children are carrying around phones and having conversations we know nothing about.

The family phone used to be in the kitchen and many times my mom would be privy to my conversations, which were comparably few to the phone calling and/or texting kids do today. As an immature child I needed correction and she would instruct me on my unkind language, gossip, and sharing of inappropriate confidences. She knew who I talked to and why. She was able to guide me in a way that taught me to watch my mouth for it is very important to God how we use our tongues. When I reached a level of maturity in which my parents were more confident, I was allowed more privileges. I had a good background in Biblical understanding and had memorized and applied verses such as Ephesians 4:29 "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen" or Proverbs 15:2 "The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly."

I have unintentionally (another point to discuss...you can't be anywhere with out hearing somebody talking on their cell phone) overheard many conversations by immature children (and adults) having conversations that make me blush. Many of these conversations are in Christian churches and youth groups. It is commonplace and natural in the way they talk revealing many years of unsupervised and undisciplined training in the area of conversation. It is a by-product of allowing immature children access to a medium that they are not ready to handle.

Therefore, my conclusion is this.....Cell phones, texting, and facebooking are great tools if your son or daughter has reached a level of Spiritual maturity to be discerning. It needs to be clearly evident in their walk with the Lord that they can handle this kind of responsibility and be an example to their peers. Unless that is true have them wait for this kind of privilege afforded by technology.

I will continue this discussion in a future blog. Until then, let us use technology in a way that is wise and discerning and glorifies God.

Keep A Quiet Heart

One of my favorite devotionals is a book by Elisabeth Elliot entitled Keep A Quiet Heart. Though I never met her personally, I would consider her one of my mentors for she is a woman of great wisdom and godliness. In the introduction to Keep a Quiet Heart she writes, "This book is a compilation of lead articles...Mostly they are about learning to know God. Nothing else, I believe, comes close to being as important in life as that. It's what we are here for. We are created to glorify Him as long as we live on this planet, and to enjoy Him for the rest of eternity. Our task is simply to trust and obey."

The wisdom found in her book which she has gleaned from THE BOOK has given me guidance, encouragement, and instruction. To be a busy wife, mother, teacher, etc... only works well if you function with a quiet heart. The mother in the home acts as a barometer. If she is stressed, crabby, agitated, argumentative, complaining, and a whole host of other unwholesome attitudes, the home will reflect that. Conversely, if she has a quiet heart, trusting in God, and resting on his promises the home will likewise reflect that. Thus, in order to raise godly sons and daughters and be a blessing to our husbands, we need to model a quiet heart.

Annie Keary, 1825-1879, once wrote, "I think I find most help in trying to look on all the interruptions and hindrances to work that one has planned out for oneself as discipline, trials sent by God to help one against getting selfish over one's work. Then one can feel that perhaps one's true work - one's work for God - consists in doing some trifling haphazard thing that has been thrown into one's day. It is not a waste of time, as one is tempted to think, it is the most important part of the work of the day - the part one can best offer to God. After such a hindrance, do not rush after the planned work; trust that the time to finish it will be given sometime, and keep a quiet heart about it (Keep A Quiet Heart, page 9).

Are we willing to accept all that God assigns for us during the day? Can we be happy and surrender ourselves to His agenda? It isn't easy, but the days go so much better when we let God be God and trust Him for the portion He gives us. When things don't go the way I want them to, or I begin to fear the future, I need to refocus my thoughts on Christ and trust that His way is the best. Then and only then can I learn to keep a quiet heart.

Biblical Daughters and Biblically Defined Sons

The traditional Judeo-Christian worldview is a thing of the past; moreover, the post-modern world in which we currently live is anything but relevant because there is no basis for truth. In fact, the contemporary idea that truth is relative, though not a new concept, is an amazingly destructive lie. Indeed, raising Biblical sons and daughters in today's culture is a rather daunting task! Yet this calling from God isn't an objective but a command. It says in Deuteronomy 6:6-8:

"These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.
Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home
and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hand and bind them
on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your
houses on on your gates" (NIV).

These words written thousands of years ago are just as relevant now as they were then. They are clear and instructive, and they are profoundly convicting!

Today's youth are woefully unprepared to enter into marriage, establish their own homes, or raise a godly generation of children. A lack of Biblical knowledge and discernment has certainly added to this, along with a culture replete with selfishness, an over abundance of entertainment and visual stimulation, and an early participation in sexual activity. Our children are being fed the lie that they can be and do anything that they want to be or do; that the Bible is silent on these matters.

Our daughters are led to believe that God has nothing to say on issues such as women enlisting in the military or mothers putting their children in daycare in order to pursue a more "fulfilling" career; moreover, our sons are ridiculed for recognizing the value of their roles as protectors.

Equally upsetting is the portrayal of men and women in today's movie culture. Masculine women, kicking and fighting their way into what once were traditionally male roles, and feminized men who let women lead them pervade our television sets and our minds each day.

Men and women are regarded as having no differences between them or their roles. However, the Bible very clearly distinguishes between the roles of men and women. Though equal in their image bearing and importance, they are not equal in their functions or responsibilities; instead they complement each other. In addition to these differences and roles the Bible instructs us and our children in areas of modesty, righteousness, and integrity. In short, it calls us to be Biblical men and women.

As we get caught up in the busyness of the world around us, we have to be very deliberate in our approach to training our children; it takes more than modeling. It takes time, hard work, prayer, and diligent instruction. It doesn't just happen! Let's help our children have a true knowledge and a firm conviction of what the Bible has to say about being men and women of God. Let's help our daughters embrace Biblical femininity and take pleasure in being godly wives and mothers. Let's create in our sons a desire to lead, protect, and restore godly masculinity to a world that has rejected the God-given differences between men and women. Finally, let's teach our children how to walk with the wise and gain instruction from them.

For resources to help you achieve these goals, visit BeautifulBiblicalWomanhood.com and BiblicallyDefinedManhood.com.

Delighting in the Law of God

Training sons and daughters to be Biblical young men and women is a daunting task and requires patience, diligence, perseverance, and much prayer. However, we are not left helpless in this task for God has given us much instruction about it in His word. The books of Psalms and Proverbs provide us with much material and the Holy Spirit guides us as we apply these truths in the upbringing of our children.

A huge lesson my husband and I learned as we raised our children was that the only way to get our children to delight in the laws of God was for us to truly delight in them ourselves and then to share that delight with them. As obvious as that may seem, it requires careful consideration of how we communicate with our children. For example, our delight in Sunday worship reflects to our children the love we have for the Lord and His people. The complaint, "Why do we have to go to church?" is replied with "Why are we so privileged and so honored to be able to go to church. What a blessing that we don't deserve!" If this is followed by genuine joy and our children see the love we have for worship, we have communicated much.

Psalm 119 reflects much on the blessings that are received to those who "walk according to the law of the Lord" and whose "statutes are my delight; they are my counselors"(Psalm 119: 1b,24). It would do our families and are children well to memorize scripture
and delight in it. Psalm 119:9-16 sums it up very well.

"How can a young man keep his way pure?
By living according to your word.
I seek you with all my heart;
do not let me stray from your commands.
I have hidden your word in my heart
that I might not sin against you.
Praise be to you, O Lord;
teach me your decrees.
With my lips I recount
all the laws that come from your mouth.
I rejoice in following your statutes
as one rejoices in great riches.
I meditate on your precepts
and consider your ways.
I delight in your decrees;
I will not neglect your word."

Delighting in the Law of God is the most important communication we can give our children as we train our daughters to be beautiful Biblical women and our sons to be Biblically defined men.

Do The Next Thing!

Biblical daughters and Biblically defined sons would richly benefit from reading great poetry. The beautiful book of Psalms in the Bible is a good place to start. Additionally, people throughout the ages have inspired us, both emotionally and spiritually, with timeless advice and wisdom through verse and song.

Elisabeth Elliot, speaker, author, and wife of the murdered missionary Jim Elliot, had an old English poem that she often shared in her writings and on her radio program Gateway to Joy. The poem which was entitled "Do The Next Thing" had a huge impact on my life. The memory of this poem has often encouraged me to keep on going when I have been discouraged, worried, or afraid.

Do The Next Thing

At an old English parsonage down by the sea,
There came in the twilight a message to me,
Its quaint Saxon legend deeply engraven
That, as it seems to me, teaching from heaven.
And all through the hours the quiet words ring,
Like a low inspiration, Do The Next Thing.

Many a questioning, many a fear,
Many a doubt hath its quieting here.
Moment by moment, let down from heaven,
Time, opportunity, and guidance are given.
Fear not tomorrows, child of the King,
Trust them with Jesus, Do The Next Thing.

Do it immediately, do it with prayer:
Do it reliantly, casting all care.
Do it with reverence, tracing His hand,
Who placed it before thee with earnest command.
Stayed on Omnipotence, safe 'neath His wing,
Leave all results, Do The Next Thing.

Looking to Jesus, ever serener,
Working or suffering be thy demeanor;
In his dear presence, the rest of His calm,
The light of His countenance, be thy psalm,
Strong in His faithfulness, praise and sing,
Then, as He beckons, Do The Next Thing.

Author Unknown

This poem has often come to my mind when I thought I couldn't go on. However, I would be reminded to first talk to God about it, worship Him with thankfulness, and then go and Do The Next Thing.